"I'll be happy when I get married and have children..."
"I'll be happy when I get my own home..."
"I'll be happy when I land a new job..."
"I'll be happy when..."
Have you felt like that?
And when you attained your goal or acquired the desired item, did your
happiness last? Or did it begin to fade? To be sure, reaching a goal or
obtaining something we have desired can make us happy, but that kind of
happiness can be fleeting. Lasting happiness is not based solely on
achievements or acquisitions. Rather, like good physical health, true happiness
depends on a variety of factors. Each of us is unique. What
makes you happy may not make someone else happy. Additionally, we change as we
grow older. Yet, evidence suggests that some things are more consistently
associated with happiness. For example, genuine happiness is linked to finding contentment, avoiding envy, cultivating love for others, and building mental
and emotional resilience. Let us see why.
1. FIND CONTENTMENT
“Money is a protection,”
observed a wise student of human nature. But he also wrote: “A lover of silver
will never be satisfied with silver, nor a lover of wealth with income. This too
is futility.” (Ecclesiastes 5:10; 7:12) His point? While we may need money to
survive, we should avoid greed, for it is insatiable! The writer, King Solomon
of ancient Israel, actually experimented to see whether wealth and luxurious
living fostered true happiness. “I did not deny myself anything that I desired,”
he wrote. “I did not withhold from my heart any sort of pleasure.”—Ecclesiastes
1:13; 2:10.
Having amassed great
wealth, Solomon built grand houses, made beautiful parks and pools, and
acquired many servants. Whatever he wanted, he got. What did he learn? His
experiment made him somewhat happy, but not for long. “I saw that everything
was futile,” he observed. “There was nothing of real value.” He even came to
hate life! (Ecclesiastes 2:11, 17, 18) Yes,
Solomon learned that a life of self-indulgence ultimately leaves one feeling
empty and unfulfilled.
Do modern studies agree
with that ancient wisdom? An article published in the Journal of Happiness
Studies observed that “after one’s basic needs are satisfied, additional
income does little to advance one’s subjective well-being.” Indeed, findings
show that increased material consumption, especially at the cost of moral and
spiritual values, can erode happiness.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Let your way of life be
free of the love of money, while you are content with the present things.”—Hebrews 13:5
When people who are resilient make mistakes, they do not berate
themselves with self-defeating language, such as “I’m a failure” or “I’m
useless.” The Bible says: “A crushed spirit saps one’s strength.” (Proverbs
17:22) The book The Power of Resilience states
that if you want to lead a resilient life, “you must recognize that mistakes
and failure are a natural occurrence ... Your choice is the manner in which you
respond to these events.”
2. AVOID ENVY
Envy is defined as “the
painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another, accompanied
by a desire to possess the same advantage.” Like a malignant growth, envy can
take over one’s life and destroy happiness.
How might envy take root? How can
we recognize this trait? And how can we combat it?
The Encyclopedia of
Social Psychology observes that people tend to envy their equals, perhaps
in age, experience, or social background. A salesman, for instance, might not
envy a famous movie star. But he may envy a more successful fellow salesman.
To
illustrate: Certain high officials in ancient Persia envied, not the king, but
a brilliant fellow official named Daniel. Indicating how unhappy those men must
have been, they even schemed to kill Daniel! But the plot failed. (Daniel
6:1-24) “It is important to recognize the hostile nature of envy,” says the
aforementioned encyclopedia. “This hostility explains why envy is associated
with so many historical cases of aggression.”
How can you recognize envy?
Ask yourself: ‘Do a peer’s successes delight or deflate me? If a sibling,
talented classmate, or fellow worker fails in some way, am I sad or gleeful?’
If you answered “deflate me” and “gleeful,” you may be nurturing envy. (Genesis
26:12-14) “Envy,” says the Encyclopedia of Social Psychology, “can
poison a person’s capacity to enjoy the good things in life and snuff out
feelings of gratitude for life’s many gifts.... Such tendencies are hardly
conducive to happiness.”
We combat envy by
cultivating genuine humility and modesty, which enables us to appreciate and
value the abilities and good qualities of others. “Do nothing out of
contentiousness or out of egotism,” the Bible says, “but with humility consider
others superior to you.”—Philippians 2:3.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Let us not become
egotistical, stirring up competition with one another, envying one another.”—Galatians 5:26.
3. CULTIVATE LOVE
FOR PEOPLE
“People’s feelings about
their relationships have a bigger impact on their overall satisfaction with their
lives than do their job, income, community, or even physical health,” says the
book Social Psychology. Simply put, in order to be truly happy, humans
need to give and receive love. “If I ... do not have love, I am nothing,” said
a Bible writer.—1 Corinthians 13:2.
It is never too late to
cultivate love. For example, Vanessa had an abusive, alcoholic father. When she
was 14 years old, she ran away from home and stayed in foster homes, as well as
in one bad shelter where she remembers begging God for help. Then, perhaps as
an answer to her prayers, she was placed with a family who lived by the Bible
principle that “love is patient and kind.” (1 Corinthians 13:4) That
environment, coupled with what she was learning from her own study of the
Bible, helped Vanessa to heal emotionally and progress mentally. “At school, my
grades went from D’s and F’s to A’s and B’s,” she said.
Vanessa still bears
emotional scars. Nevertheless, she is now a happily married mother of two
girls.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Clothe yourselves with
love, for it is a perfect bond of union.”—Colossians 3:14
4. BUILD RESILIENCE
Who has a problem-free
life? As the Bible says, there is “a time to weep” and “a time to wail.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:4) Resilience helps us to get through such times, to bounce
back from adversity. Consider Carol and Mildred. Carol has spinal
degenerative disease, diabetes, sleep apnea, and macular degeneration that has
blinded her left eye. Yet, she says: “I try not to feel discouraged for too
long. I allow myself my ‘pity party.’ But then I set my feelings aside and
thank God for what I am still able to do, especially for other people.” Mildred too has a number of
ailments, including arthritis, breast cancer, and diabetes. But like Carol, she
tries not to focus on her problems. “I have learned to love people and to
comfort others during their illness, which helps me as well,” she writes. “In
fact, I find that when I am comforting others, I am not worrying about myself.”
Although both women are
interested in receiving good medical care, they focus, not on their physical
health, but on their attitude and how they use their time. As a result, they
have an inner joy that no one can take away from them. Additionally, they are
much loved by others and are an inspiration to people who are going through
various trials.
BIBLE PRINCIPLE: “Happy is the man who keeps
on enduring trial, because on becoming approved he will receive the crown of
life.”—James 1:12
______________________________________________________________________________
When applied, the Bible’s
wisdom is “a tree of life to those who take hold of it, and those who keep firm
hold of it will be called happy.” (Proverbs 3:13-18) Why not discover that
truth for yourself by tapping into the wisdom recorded in the Bible? After all,
the Author of this sacred book, who is also called “the happy God,” wants you
to be happy too.—1 Timothy 1:11
This information was based on Awake! - November 2014 Issue
Awake! is published monthly by Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.
For more information, visit www.jw.org
