COPING WITH AN INCURABLE DISEASE
Facing a diagnosis of a terminal or chronic illness is something no one wants to think about. In many ways, this makes sense - who would want to spend time thinking about how they would react if they received a diagnosis of something like terminal cancer... it can leave you feeling overwhelmed, scared, and alone. But, there are ways to help yourself cope. How?
A few years ago, I was initially diagnosed with a blood disorder called ITP; in many ways it is similar to hemophilia where spontaneous bleeding occurs. After a long battle with painful surgeries, damaging medications and constant feelings of self-loathe and sadness, I felt that my life could not get any worse... shortly there after, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus.
Lupus is a monster all on its own.
Lupus is a chronic inflammatory disease that occurs when your body's immune system attacks your own tissues and organs. Specifically, I have Circulatory Lupus affecting my blood, veins, heart, lungs, kidneys and liver. In recent years, I have had to submit myself to certain medications and procedures that I never would have thought I would have to take or be a part of.
After the initial shock, getting such bad news from a doctor often results in a flood of emotions. It’s important to remember that having strong feelings is completely natural and not something anyone should be embarrassed or ashamed about.
COPING WITH YOUR NEW REALITY
There’s both a physical and mental aspect to coping. When dealing with the depression and anxiety that comes with a serious diagnosis, people can often stop taking care of themselves physically.
1) Daily exercise, even if it’s low impact and only for 30 minutes, is crucial.
2) Maintaining a sense of humor throughout the difficult times. and laughter provide a brief respite from your worries.
Focusing on today is also helpful for your mental health. Getting caught up in when the end will come or how difficult the illness (or even the treatments, in the case of chemo or radiation) will get in months or years to come is counter-productive.
3) Just focus on getting through each individual day as it happens.
If you attempt to do more than that, it will likely leave you overwhelmed and depressed.
4) Spend time with the people you love and continue to do the activities you love.
5) Talking with others and providing support for other people going through similar diseases can be a great help.
HOW TO HELP A LOVED ONE
If you have a loved one facing a serious diagnosis, often the best thing you can do is to simply listen. You shouldn’t expect to deliver some piece of profound advice that will make your loved one feel better. He/she is going to have bad days with irritability, anger, and depression. It’s natural. Let them vent to you and be a sympathetic ear. Sometimes there’s not a whole lot you can say to make them feel better.
Aside from listening, you can help your loved one to feel empowered by assisting them with research about treatment options for their condition and to help them doing things they enjoy doing if they need physical assistance in getting around.
FINDING YOUR OWN WAY
Although family and friends can provide necessary support, the real fight comes down to you and how you will face this new situation in you life. I have personally found that pushing myself gives me what I need to continue day for day. No two people live their lives the same way and no two people deal with adversity or bad news in the same way. In the end, you have to find what works for you.
No matter what comes your way, live a life as a positive influence and leave behind footprints of hope, encouragement and inspiration.
