Born at 24... Micro-Preemie Babies

Born at 24... 24 weeks to be exact weighing in at 1 pound and 12 ounces.
He was a Micro-Preemie baby.

A few months ago, an old friend of mine announced that she was pregnant. I personally have never had children but many of my friends have expressed the joy that their children have brought to their life. I could never be happier for my friend...

Exactly 24 weeks into her pregnancy, complications arose.
She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on December 11th 2015.
Due to his delicate state and small size, he was to remain in NICU for observation.
After a long and hard battle, he passed away exactly 3 months later on March 11th, 2016.

I was heart broken.
My mind and body could not process the sadness that came over me the day I found out the little one passed away. He was a trooper for as long as he could... but he was just too small.
There is nothing I could say to my friend to make her feel better. I know that the only thing that can comfort her is the fact that her baby boy is no longer suffering and is at rest.

Understanding what a micro-preemie baby is has helped to give an old friend the support she very desperately needed and what to say in her time of grievance...

WHAT IS A MICRO-PREEMIE?
A micro preemie is a baby who is born weighing less than 1 pound, 12 ounces (800 grams) or before 26 weeks gestation. Since these types of babies are born months before their due dates, micro preemies face long stays in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Although many extremely premature babies grow up with no long-term effects of prematurity, others face severe health problems throughout life.

A micro baby suffers from a number of immediate health issues including underdeveloped:
1) lungs, heart, veins, and eyes
2) essential body systems such as respiratory, circulatory and digestive


Most babies born prematurely develop permanent damage to their body systems and for the most part require constant medical surveillance.

For more detailed information on the health issues developed by micro-preemie babies, please visit The Very Well website. 

WHAT IS THE SURVIVAL RATE FOR PREMATURE BABIES?

22 weeks - About 10% of babies survive

23 weeks - 50 to 66% of babies survive

24 weeks - 66 to 80% of babies survive

25 weeks - 75 to 85% of babies survive

26 weeks - more than 90% survive

Yes, it is true that micro preemies have far more health challenges and complications than regular preemies, but no preemie is out of the woods, by any stretch.

All preemie parents are scared to death of losing one of the most important things in their lives — no matter how big or small their baby is or how long their baby is in the NICU.

All premature babies are at risk for a variety of setbacks and infections and they all deserve the best medical care available and our respect. There are few things as upsetting as not being able to take your baby home from the hospital after birth, and there is nothing worse than watching your baby suffer through medical interventions in a hospital.

HOW CAN WE HELP PREMATURE BABY PARENTS?

During my friend's 3 month journey with her little one, any small detail to show compassion and support was deeply appreciated. With my friends recent experience, I have learned a great deal and know now of some of the things that her family appreciated. Whether we have children or not, we can do things that will help a family in need...

1) we want to acknowledge the birth of their little ones and congratulate parents on their bundle of joy!

2) Food... hospital stays can be exhausting and some parents can go days without eating

3) Gift cards and small cash donations. Some parents stop working and sometimes need a little economic support. Every dollar counts and adds up quickly.

4) Offering transportation

5) Care packages

6) When visiting a preemie, compliance of parents wishes is a big deal especially if the parents ask you to wear a mask, wash your hands or not even touch the baby.

7) Have compassion and be patient.

The greatest gift you can give a family through those fearful moments is love, prayer and help them maintain a positive attitude and never give up on hope. When a preemie baby loses their battle, the parents need a pillar of strength among friends and families.

This post is dedicated in the memory of baby Isaiah... born at 24.

12/11/2015 - 3/11/2016

Psalm 121:1, 2

COPING WITH AN INCURABLE DISEASE

COPING WITH AN INCURABLE DISEASE

Facing a diagnosis of a terminal or chronic illness is something no one wants to think about.  In many ways, this makes sense - who would want to spend time thinking about how they would react if they received a diagnosis of something like terminal cancer... it can leave you feeling overwhelmed, scared, and alone.  But, there are ways to help yourself cope. How?

A few years ago, I was initially diagnosed with a blood disorder called ITP; in many ways it is similar to hemophilia where spontaneous bleeding occurs. After a long battle with painful surgeries, damaging medications and constant feelings of self-loathe and sadness, I felt that my life could not get any worse... shortly there after, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus.

Lupus is a monster all on its own.

Lupus is a chronic inflammatory disease that occurs when your body's immune system attacks your own tissues and organs. Specifically, I have Circulatory Lupus affecting my blood, veins, heart, lungs, kidneys and liver. In recent years, I have had to submit myself to certain medications and procedures that I never would have thought I would have to take or be a part of. 

After the initial shock, getting such bad news from a doctor often results in a flood of emotions. It’s important to remember that having strong feelings is completely natural and not something anyone should be embarrassed or ashamed about.

COPING WITH YOUR NEW REALITY

There’s both a physical and mental aspect to coping. When dealing with the depression and anxiety that comes with a serious diagnosis, people can often stop taking care of themselves physically. 

1) Daily exercise, even if it’s low impact and only for 30 minutes, is crucial.

2) Maintaining a sense of humor throughout the difficult times. and laughter provide a brief respite from your worries.

 Focusing on today is also helpful for your mental health. Getting caught up in when the end will come or how difficult the illness (or even the treatments, in the case of chemo or radiation) will get in months or years to come is counter-productive.

  

3) Just focus on getting through each individual day as it happens.

If you attempt to do more than that, it will likely leave you overwhelmed and depressed.

4) Spend time with the people you love and continue to do the activities you love. 

5) Talking with others and providing support for other people going through similar diseases can be a great help.

HOW TO HELP A LOVED ONE 

If you have a loved one facing a serious diagnosis, often the best thing you can do is to simply listen.  You shouldn’t expect to deliver some piece of profound advice that will make your loved one feel better. He/she is going to have bad days with irritability, anger, and depression. It’s natural. Let them vent to you and be a sympathetic ear. Sometimes there’s not a whole lot you can say to make them feel better.

Aside from listening, you can help your loved one to feel empowered by assisting them with research about treatment options for their condition and to help them doing things they enjoy doing if they need physical assistance in getting around.

FINDING YOUR OWN WAY

Although family and friends can provide necessary support, the real fight comes down to you and how you will face this new situation in you life. I have personally found that pushing myself gives me what I need to continue day for day. No two people live their lives the same way and no two people deal with adversity or bad news in the same way. In the end, you have to find what works for you.

No matter what comes your way, live a life as a positive influence and leave behind footprints of hope, encouragement and inspiration.