"YOU DON'T LOOK SICK..."

If you suffer from a chronic illness, physical condition or pain, you have probably heard some version of the phrase "but you don't look sick" at one time or another. It's frustrating and annoying to say the least. Those of us who live with a chronic health condition often find ourselves being misunderstood by others.

They see us as looking normal and seem to find it hard to believe we are struggling physically. This may be most true at work with our co-workers or employers who do not understand the energy it takes us on a day to day basis to simply maintain 'normal' function. Truthfully, most chronic conditions can appear "invisible" to others until they have reached an end-stage. Thus, living with a chronic health condition may involve years of responses and looks from friends, co-workers and even family members that are anything but understanding. This is draining and stressful in an already taxing situation and takes an emotional toll after a while.

 Trying explain that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn't have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions.

Most people that get sick feel a 'loss' of a life they once knew and most lose the sense of control... taken over by the illness or physical condition.

How to get over the frustration of someone saying "you don't look sick" may at first seem difficult to overcome but not impossible. Mental discipline and true understanding are one of the many things needed to overcome the illness and frustration at those who are not currently suffering a physical condition.

Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become.

A few things that helped me gain a positive outlook in life:

1. SMILE

     - I didn’t do much of this for a long time so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

2. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
     - I call friends who I know could and will give me constructive, yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking

3. CHANGE THE TONE OF YOUR TOUGHTS FROM NEGATIVE TO POSITIVE
     - For example, instead of thinking We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation, replace that with We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.

4. DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM- YOU CREATE YOUR LIFE (TAKE RESPONSIBILITY)
     - The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be

5. HELP OTHERS
     - Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person.
     There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.”—Acts 20:35

6. REMEMBER THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT AND MOVE FORWARD
     - It’s easy to dwell on your and others mistakes. The only thing we can do now is learn from those mistakes and move forward.

7. LIST THE THINGS THAT YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR
     - Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have.

Amongst many other things that help cope with an illness, these have been far effective in my life.

We are all precious, keep looking forward and keeping a positive attitude.

FIGHT ON!